The image of twelve women sitting in a circle passing around a onesie has had a good run. But more and more parents-to-be want everyone they love in the same room — partners, friends, brothers, colleagues — not just the people who happened to be assigned a gender at birth. That shift has made the coed baby shower one of the most genuinely enjoyable events on the calendar, when it's planned well.
Why Coed Showers Took Over
The honest reason is simple: the people having babies have changed how they think about celebration. Parenting is increasingly shared from day one, and it feels odd to throw a party that treats one parent as a spectator. When both people are up at 3am, both people probably deserve a party.
There's also a practical argument. Guest lists for traditional showers often created awkward parallel events — a shower for her, a separate thing for him, neither quite satisfying. A single, well-planned gathering does the job once and does it properly. Friends who don't fit neatly into gendered categories have somewhere to be, and the energy in the room is usually better for the mix.
This modern baby shower for both parents also tends to produce better gifts. When partners are present, people buy things the whole household actually needs rather than defaulting to pink or blue frills.
Format: Pick the One That Fits Your Crowd
The format matters more than the decorations. A couples baby shower works best when the setting feels natural to the people attending, not like a traditional shower with men awkwardly added on.
A backyard barbecue is the easiest entry point. Fire up the grill, set up some lawn games, keep the drinks flowing. The relaxed structure means no one feels trapped in a circle of strangers. The Grounds of Alexandria in Sydney does this kind of outdoor hire well; in the UK, a hired garden or pub garden achieves the same thing.
A late-morning brunch — think 11am to 2pm — works beautifully for mixed groups. Eggs, pastries, a Bloody Mary bar, good coffee. It's social without being a full evening commitment, which matters when your guests include people with their own young children.
An evening drinks event suits urban crowds and older friend groups. Keep it to two or three hours, serve proper cocktails and mocktails in equal measure, and skip the formal program entirely. The parents-to-be circulate, people talk, and it feels like a party rather than an obligation.
Inviting Everyone Without Making It Weird
The invitation sets the tone before a single guest walks through the door. If partners and male-identifying friends have historically been excluded from these events, they may assume they're not really welcome even when you tell them they are.
Be explicit. Not in a defensive way — just clear. A line like "We're celebrating with everyone who matters to us" or "Partners, friends, all welcome" removes the guesswork. Don't rely on people to infer it from the fact that you sent them an invite.
For an all-genders baby shower, it also helps to signal the format upfront. "Backyard barbecue, lawn games, no formal program" tells a reluctant attendee that they won't be sitting through a game where they have to smell melted chocolate in a nappy. That information changes RSVPs.
Venito lets you add a short host note directly to the digital invitation — a good place to set the scene in a sentence or two without cluttering the main design.
Activities That Don't Make Anyone Cringe
The candy-bar-in-a-nappy game exists in a special category of things that are theoretically funny and practically miserable. You can do better.
Some options that tend to land well across mixed groups:
- A "advice for the parents" card station where guests write one piece of genuine advice (anonymised and read aloud later, they're often surprisingly good)
- A blind baby photo guessing game using photos submitted by guests in advance
- A build-your-own hot sauce or condiment bar with a "name that flavour" element — low stakes, genuinely fun
- Lawn games: bocce, cornhole, giant Jenga — things people can drift in and out of
- A "predictions" board where guests guess birth date, weight, and first word
The common thread is low pressure and optional participation. Nobody should feel put on the spot.
Wording the Invitation So Everyone Gets It
Invitation wording for a coed baby shower doesn't need to be elaborate. It needs to be unambiguous. Avoid anything that leans heavily on gendered language or traditional shower conventions — phrases like "ladies, join us" or "girlfriends and mums" quietly exclude the people you're trying to include.
Something like this works: "Sam and Jordan are expecting, and we're celebrating with everyone who loves them. Join us for an afternoon in the garden — food, drinks, and good company. Saturday 14 June, 2pm onwards."
Note what's there: both parents named, the format described, no gender signals, a time that implies a relaxed end. Note what's absent: fussy rhymes, stork imagery, the word 'shower' used in a way that might confuse people about what kind of event this is.
If you're sending digitally, a clean design with a neutral colour palette — terracotta, sage, navy, warm cream — does more work than any wording tweak. The visual language of the invitation tells people whether this is a party they'll enjoy before they read a single word.
